Is Richard Simmons housekeeper a witch?

Ok so I’m currently listening to the Missing Richard Simmons podcast, and the main theory so far is that Teresa Reveles, his maid is somehow controlling his life and holding him hostage in his own home. Oh and that she is an actual witch.

That’s not the only theory but it’s probably the most fascinating one, other theories include…

  • He has a knee injury which is making him depressed
  • He’s just sick of being famous (wouldn’t you move house though?)
  • His dog died and it plunged him into a deep depression

I guess the irony is that he spent years screaming about happiness and loving yourself and self-acceptance, and it turns out, he might not like himself that much. Well, Richard, we can all relate to that, my friend. I guess that what has me hooked, that and the witch theory obviously.

 

 

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Are you there God, it’s me Katana…

Spoiler- God is not here and neither is Katana 

My dog katana died a month or so before Christmas last year and I really miss her. Her silky little body wiggling around the house, her smiley little face when finally got out of bed. She was only 9 which is quite young for a staffy. She liked people but tbh she was so dog aggressive we had to build a huge fence and walk her at night. I’m sure it was because she was attacked by a big dog when she was a puppy and we were walking her round lake Hayes in Arrowtown. RIP sweet girl. 

My kids wanted to know if she was in dogheaven, I wanted to say yes because it would have made them feel better but it just doesn’t make any sense plus we are not religious . If all the pet dogs and cats etc were all together in heaven it would be so crowded it would be hell – It’s not even a tiny bit believable. What about the animals we eat, consuming them like they are objects placed on this earth for our convenience. What happens to them when they die? It’s more believable that either our souls are reincarnated or snuffed out forever. I prefer to believe we are reincarnated, it sits better with me. If this is true, I hope my beautiful girl is fortunate enough to return as a human, not because we are better, but because I don’t want her to end up another poor soul in a slaughterhouse. In the game of life the ultimate advantage is being a human, things are a bit easier if you happen to be a white male in a first World Country too but that’s another rant for another day. 🖤

 

img_0686Tatoos

He loves tattoos, he’s covered in them. Four years ago he got a grade 1 melanoma cut out of his back and the skin specialist who he visits every few months said no more tattoos. He hasn’t had any since then but I caught him checking out this tattoo place in town, he said he just wants a little bit of grey to fill in some bits and sharpen them up. I’m sure it will be fine but then I think about how horrible it was when we waiting for the results of his lymph node tests and I wonder if it’s a wise decision.

 

 

Ho ho yo 

I love Cuba street, its so colorful and full of life.

A quick stroll through town for some Christmas gifts last weekend with Jake, he was cold and wore my cardigan which resulted in a smiths kinda vibe.

I am really enjoying Adobe Spark  at the moment, if you haven’t checked it out yet what is wrong with you? Do it immediately. It so useful for work as well as spare time fun, well I suppose that depends what you class as fun but it’s my kind of fun. You can create videos which are so effortless to put together and the end result is smooth and professional looking. I am currently using it for some ‘how to’ content at work and it saves lots of time.

 It was Joel’s birthday recently and we went to Mojo for a Dragonfly pop up (due to the earthquake), the food was ok but what I liked the most was the venue and the company. Look at the cool half exposed brick wall, love it. 

 

 

The Easter bunny…

  

Well Easter is off to a good start, it’s slightly interfering with my sugar free buzz but the dog seems to be enjoying himself. 

I went to gets the kids Easter eggs and the amount of chocolate, even in the supermarket, was terrifying. You couldn’t opt out if you tried and let’s be honest most of us are far too jaded to take on that war. It’s always annoyed me they have all those lollies at the counter that any child who can stand can reach, Yeh thanks for that supermarkets. But this Easter is out of control. 

Wouldn’t chocolate Jesus’s make more sense? Lol, no not in the slightest but they would stand out from the crowd. 

Where’s my village..

I’m really struggling to cope with my busy life with no family help, anyone else? 

I always assumed my family would be a huge part of my kids life. It’s not their fault I moved to the otherwise of the world, didn’t really think that one through to be fair. I also didn’t realise I would need them so much. It seems to me you either have family help or you pay for it, both with money and with your job prospects. 

Yes hire me I’m awesome, except when my kids sick or when my other kid catches what the first one had last week, or when my car breaks down (I have zero spare time or money to take it in to get serviced) or school has an unexpected teachers only day or calls me to collect my son cause he fell off the swings again. Also I will run from my desk like a woman possessed at 5 everyday on the dot for fear of being late to day care or after school care (which by the way are fucking extortionate so you better be paying me well). Also lets be honest I’m going to photocopy birthday party invites and occasionally have snot/dribble on my shoulder when I come to work. 

Come on village, I really need you now…

The holidays are over..

So the holidays are over and it’s back to work tomorrow. My house looks like it was ramsacked by drunk pirates so in an attempt to avoid cleaning it I’ve started a blog! Well done me!! This photo has nothing to do with my messy house, it’s just quite funny.image